How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think
(If you prefer listening you'll find this topic in my podcast too!)
The first time I encountered the question, “Do you attempt to control how other people see you?” it had a huge impact on me.
I don’t remember where I read it, just that it was a powerful "aha moment," because:
(a) the answer was a big yes, and
(b) I had never thought about it in terms of my trying to control something.
When I catch myself wanting to control how someone views me, it’s kind of a shock to realize how much energy the effort is taking.
Check in with yourself. How does this issue apply to you? Now check in and see how the word control feels to you.
When we’re trying to control how other people think about us, we’re doing it from a place of trying to feel safe.
So set an intention to become aware of how much of your energy goes into trying to control how you are perceived by others.
Remember to be gentle and supportive of yourself as you observe the power that other people’s opinions have in your life.
Freeing ourselves from this trap is vital—because when we’re focused on worrying about what other people think, we’re not thinking for ourselves.
We disconnect from our own guidance when we use other people’s reactions, opinions, and judgments to define our self-worth.
Examine Your Motivations
Worrying about what other people think is a trap that affects all of us to some extent, because it’s intertwined with our sense of self-worth—and that, in turn, is tied to our need to be safe.
The feelings we’re afraid of usually come from past experiences of being ridiculed or criticized or feeling like we didn’t fit in.
We end up believing we’re not good enough somehow, and these feelings are so painful that we try to push them down. In doing so, we end up integrating them into all our motives.
In this way, other people’s opinions can become a guiding force in our lives—without our even being aware of it.
Set an intention to become aware of the underlying motivations for your actions and your plans.
Where in your life are you focused on trying to receive other people’s positive judgment?
If you find that your motivation is centered on someone else’s opinion of you, stop and turn within.
Connect to your Greater Self, check in with your own inner guidance, and empower yourself to be the only judge of what’s right, worthy, appropriate, acceptable, and valuable for you.
Identify the Rule Book in Your Head
Become aware of the “shoulds” you carry around and reassess the rules you’ve internalized about the “right” way to be.
Set an intention now to notice where you’re trying to conform to an outside set of standards—like the “way things are done” or “the right way to do things.”
This may take some internal digging, but it’s worth it. When you catch yourself conforming in order to be accepted, it’s a signal that you’re not feeling worthy and empowered.
Notice where you’re not motivated by love for what you’re doing, but instead are trying to prove your worth through someone else’s rules.
Use your journal to capture these moments, and look for the truth beneath them.
The problem with carrying around outside rules is that they’re not necessarily aligned with your divine guidance.
True happiness and fulfillment come from following the deep desires that arise from within—not from chasing external approval.
Give yourself the power to decide what’s right, based on your inner wisdom.
You may end up doing many of the same things—but from a place of love and choice instead of a need to be “good enough.”
Examine the Issue of Conformity
Needing to conform is a foundational part of the unconscious worry about what others think.
Every society teaches us to care about what others think—it’s one of the ways we’re kept in line.
So when you begin to break out of conformity and live from your own originality, some people will be comfortable with it—and some won’t.
People are only as comfortable with your nonconformity as they are with nonconformity itself.
Some people love marching to their own beat. Others feel safe only when following a collective set of rules.
To live authentically, you need to get clear on what feels right to you.
Each of us has a powerful guidance system that points us toward what’s right in every moment—and the habit of conformity blocks that guidance.
Start noticing when the issue of conformity pops up in your life. See it clearly, and ask: Does this actually keep me safe?
Bringing this pattern into the light will strengthen and empower you.
Take Ownership of Your Own Self-Worth
As you move through your days, notice your reactions to what others think. Sit with those feelings—and then commit to taking ownership of your own self-worth.
This shift allows you to love the people in your life more deeply—because you can’t truly love someone if you’re giving them authority over your value.
Freeing yourself from what other people think will make your essence shine even brighter.
Your presence becomes a blessing.
Once you stop defining your worth by others’ judgments, you can begin fulfilling yourself—by filling your life with what you love.
If this resonates with you, you’ll find deeper support in my book:
It’s full of life-changing skills like these that help you shift how you feel about yourself and bring your dreams into reality.
Inside you'll find:
Part I: Meet Your Guardians
• Meet Your Dragon Guardians
• Meet Your Unicorn Guardians
• Meet Your Angelic Guardians
• Meet Your Tree Guardians
• Meet the Earth Soul
Part II: Transform Your Life with the Help of Your Guardians
• Create a Foundation of Self-Love
• Give Yourself Permission
• Open to New Possibilities
• Upgrade Your Self-Talk
• Reinvent Yourself
• Make Peace with Where You Are
Part III: Move Forward in a New Way
• Be Yourself
• Free Yourself from Worrying About What Other People Think
• Tell Yourself a New Story
• Focus on What You Want
• Support Yourself with Love
• Dream Bigger
👉 To get the book and receive a special bonus, just visit guardiangateway.com
Know that I am sending you love—and thanking you for the beauty and love you brought with you into the world. 💛
